Carefully pulling the bulb out of the soil, I watched dirt crumble off and into the hole left behind. Did I follow the instructions correctly, I wondered? They weren’t very clear instructions… weeks have gone by and nothing is happening. The bulb sits there, peeking out of the soil, unchanging. The lack of movement is deafening, urging me to see if anything is happening to the bulb I had planted weeks ago.
He works silently, quietly, hidden beneath the surface.
The amaryllis bulb didn’t have a “pointy” side, so I had guessed that the side without the blunted stem was the side to put into the soil. I soaked the bulb in a bowl and added measured water to the “puck” of soil. I carefully put the expanded soil into the provided container. The large bulb fit nicely into the textured, loose material with the blunt stem above the surface. I set it boldly on the table in the best light we have in our home. And over the course of many days, nothing happened. NOTHING HAPPENED! Why nothing? Why no action, no answers, not one move of life or even a whisper that I had done it right? That life and change and growth and answers were coming?
Dirt clinging, I saw the thin tendrils of roots dangling from the underside of the bulb. With an exhale, the thought burst forth, it WAS growing. Joy tingled! There was life! I had “done it right”. But dismay quickly followed the burst of hope and joy. Had I ruined it now? By my doubting and wondering and now pulling out the bulb, had I destroyed its growth? I quickly, gently pushed the bulb back into the soil. I sat by that table somewhat sheepishly, and now with concern, staring at that bulb sitting again silently in that soil.
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1
By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible. Hebrews 11:3
That is why it depends on faith, in order that the promise may rest on grace…as it is written, “I have made you [Abraham] the father of many nations” – in the presence of the God in whom he believed, who gives life to the dead and calls into existence the things that do not exist. In hope he believed against hope, that he should become the father of many nations.
…but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised”.
Romans 4:16-18, 20
The amaryllis bulb is so much more than a bulb and an awaited flower. It represents all the waiting and wondering held in tandem with the promise and possibility of faith. The reality is we can’t always check if our belief in His promises of unseen things is actually “working”. But those tiny, dangling, hidden toots was assurance to my soul.
Oh Lord, You ARE working in my life and in all the concerns that I bring before you. In my seeking and searching and listening, I am hearing You. And all the surprises I find in Your Word…as I read them and pray them and meditate on them…..they are being planted “rightly”! I am planting them quietly in faith…in Your grace and You are doing the working and growing. I just need to rest and not pull them out with questions and wondering.
